A Day of Firsts

Today was the first day that Eric went back to work while no one else was here with Henry and me. It was just the two of us on our own. I have to say, the day was a huge success! We woke up and I fed him, then got him ready, and he took his good 2 hour morning nap in his vibrating bouncer seat while I showered and got ready. I was able to eat breakfast (before 11am this time!) and we headed out to our friends' house. It was her first day alone with her newborn as well, so it was nice to spend time together. We went to a group called Cuddlers, which just involves moms and babies under a year hanging out chatting. I like babies, I like chatting... so this works well for me and is something to look forward to during the day. Afterward we hung out at her house for a bit and Henry and I made our way back home. He ate again, and helped me get some things done around the house while he drifted off to sleep. I was thinking I'd get nothing done, but I actually was able to do the dishes, sweep the floor, do some laundry, grab a snack/late lunch, and some other things that my recently peanut sized brain won't let me remember. Oh but I did have time to also glance in the mirror and notice that I have more stretch marks since having him than I had WHILE hugely pregnant. If someone would like to explain to me how that makes sense, please do. I didn't have any until 38 weeks, and then just a few on the belly... and now it's another story entirely.

The sun is shining here today and it was wonderful to get out and about for a drive (Henry didn't cry in the car!) and enjoy it. I hope he grows to enjoy errands and car rides, because I love his company while I do them!

Tomorrow we go for our 2 week check up at work, and I'm excited to see all of my friends.

The little one is napping on Dad right now, though this little one is growing fast-- today he weighed 8lbs 6 oz. I cannot believe how fast he's growing! So that's our update for today! Now for another first, I'm hoping today will be the first day I'm actually able to find the missing remote. Who knows where it could have disappeared in here...

Life's Changes

And it changes so quickly.

My last post was my last as a first-time pregnant woman... and this post is my first as a first time mama. I don't even know where to begin in writing about this last week and a half. Amazing, overwhelming, blissful, sleepy, nervewracking, exciting...

I'll start with my abbreviated version of the story of the day Henry decided to meet us.

Wednesday 3/30/11 I went to an appointment in the morning hoping we could get things moving along. I was 5cm dilated and almost completely effaced but still nothing very different going on. No real signs of labor being near. (Or near enough at least) After the appointment we decided to head out for a bit so my mom and Den could see a bit of Alaska outside of Anchorage. We drove out to Beluga Point, which is just a turn off alongside the road about 15 minutes South of Anchorage. We stopped there and looked at the ocean and mountains for a bit, taking pictures, enjoying the drive, when Mom decided we had better not go any further in case I did go into labor. I was essentially like a ticking time bomb. We went downtown to stroll around some galleries, grab lunch, and all the while I was having mild contractions just like I had been for previous weeks. Some of them were fairly predictable, 6 or so minutes apart, but nothing that really caught my attention. I decided that I had been giving labor and contractions so much attention and nothing was happening, that from that point on I was not going to pay attention to them anymore until they made me pay attention to them. So I don't really remember the rest of that day, all I know is I was still having them before bed. About 5 minutes apart but nothing strong, nothing that seemed to be growing more intense... so I wrote them off like all the other nights where I went to bed with contractions and woke up without. I was in bed finding it hard to sleep though. Just feeling a little uneasy, taking a lot of trips to the bathroom but unable to feel really comfortable and settled. I eventually fell asleep around 1:30, and at 4:23 I flung from our bed and let out an "ow" while holding my hard belly. I walked around for a few, and got back in bed. As soon as I was horizontal again, another came and I bounced right back out of bed just unable to lie down during it. I woke Eric up and told him, though I was still convinced this wasn't the real thing. I got in the shower, and as I sat in there moaning with contractions 2 and a half minutes apart I tried convincing myself this still wasn't it. Eric called one of our midwives, Barb, and she told us to come in. She had a feeling things would go fairly quickly and I was due for a round of antibiotics.

We got to the birth center around 5:15 and I had contractions the whole way there. I was warning Eric not to go over bumps too quickly, so at that point I understood I was actually in labor. We got there, got my antibiotics and I was 8cm dilated. I was so surprised that I was already 8, and feeling encouraged. While I can remember a lot of details of the next few hours, things like the order of events/moments, and what people around me were doing are all a little fuzzy. But essentially, I labored in bed for a bit, tried the bath which felt amazing... Henry wasn't low enough or in the right position though so I got out of the bath in order to help things along. I was 8-9 at that point, and after trying the bed for a while longer decided to get in the shower. I was kneeling in the shower leaning over a large exercise ball while Eric sprayed the water on my low back. Again, the water was SO helpful. I was moaning through contractions and in the shower started to feel a tiny bit pushy. No one else but Eric could hear that I was involuntarily pushing a little bit, but I had to get out anyway because I had used up all of the hot water. It didn't feel like I was in there for nearly long enough to use all the water, but who really knows. I got back to the bed, and they decided to break my water so that Henry would move down with it. And sure enough, he did. He made all the right turns and I started to push. I think I started pushing before I was completely dilated, but it was working and I could feel him moving down so we went with it. I pushed for under an hour, and there he was.

And he was perfect.

The feelings were incredibly intense, but they felt natural. I never did anything that my body wasn't trying to do on it's own, it was all very instinctual. Eric was completely vital to the whole process, quietly encouraging me the entire time. I don't remember him leaving my side for a second. He was wonderful.

We left the birth center 3 hours after he was born and came home, and our little world was never/never will be the same again.

This little man is amazing. He's more than we could have ever imagined and we are in love with his every expression and sound. Of course some of these sounds and expressions send Mama into a temporary panic wondering if he's ok, but in love with them nonetheless.

It was great having family around, and my Mom stayed until yesterday morning pretty much handling everything at home for us which was such a wonderful help. Her leaving was met with tears on my end, but everyone is doing wonderfully.

Henry is a pretty relaxed baby, until he's hungry. Then it's another story but we are getting better at the whole process every day. We have spent every day since then cuddling with him, feeding him, changing him, changing him more, changing him again after his precise timing hits and he pees all over as we are changing him... and just enjoying our time together. It still feels a bit surreal.

My mom tried to teach me lessons in taking care of baby while getting things done as well, so I will be working on that. I have already learned how difficult it is to get ready, get out of the house, get anything done. My life now revolves around the schedule of this precious person, but I love it.

We've taken pictures of our little man, but I've realized I haven't taken enough. He's changing so fast and I want to capture it all, but I forget when I'm also trying to just soak it up and live in the moment with him.

My new goal is to take more pictures (never been a problem for me before) and I also want to start taking real photos again, not just the random snapshots. Both are great, but it's my goal to work on better photos. There is no better model for me than our little Henry. He's so handsome!

I'll leave this post with a "Things I Like"... you'll all be glad to know that my habit of chocolate chips sprinkled on all of my food, my extremely strong dessert addiction, is all resolving a little bit... Sometimes because I don't have time to eat it, but mostly because I'm not pregnant. So that's good.

1.) Henry. His faces, his warm little body, his squirmyness, his big yawns, the way he stretches, his sweet baby breath, the list goes on.

2.) The feeling after he is finished eating, and I have a well fed baby boy who's happy and sleepy.

3.) Eric as a Dad. He's amazing, a natural, and so commited. He's up when I'm up, helping with everything.

3.) Still loving the orange juice.

4.) Sleep, any little moment I can get.

Well that about sums things up currently.

Oh and thank you,

to those of you who have started leaving comments on here. I love to feel the presence of a friend!

No news!

Seems there are wondering minds out there (along with mine) so I just thought I'd write a little update. It's not newsworthy, don't get excited.

Essentially the update is: No baby yet!

I'm a day away from our due date, and little one is tucked safe inside still. He has proven all of us wrong, since everyone was so sure he'd come early. I've been doing fine, though the wait is so difficult when I know I must be close to meeting this person. I am trying now to just go with the flow, because what else can one do, really... I'm just trying not to pay too much attention and just continue with the day to day. He'll make his presence known when it's time to come, and although I'm looking forward to it and wondering every second when it will be, I'm trying not to dwell on that. I'm on his schedule and he's making sure we all know it!

His room is looking so very put together and all it's missing is his sweet little self in there. I am planning to put pictures up but our camera is in the car ready and waiting so we can jump at any minute and not forget that important detail!

I have gone back and forth between feelings of excitement and frustration just because I am extremely extremely pregnant and very ready to have the baby, and it's just an emotional stage of it all. But for now I'm feeling at peace with where things are. Ask me again if he's not here in a few days.

I've decided to have a bit of fun with it and so I've gotten my sisters with the whole "IM IN LABOR!!!" fakeout. Tonight was the first time it worked and for some reason I took great pleasure in being able to trick them. It should hold me over until he comes since I got to hear their reactions, and that was quite fun for me. Now that I've admitted that to all of you, I can't really try it on anyone else because no one will believe me. Luckily I got my one good reaction in, so now I'm good. I decided not to play that game on Eric, because that would be just cruel. He asks me every few minutes if anything is going on, and we stay in contact while we're both at work and when he jokingly asks me if there's a baby yet, I sometimes think of making something up but then hey may freak out and be at the office in 3 minutes so that wouldn't be very nice.

I made it to 39 weeks and 5 days still wearing my wedding ring. (Engagement ring had to come off a few months ago) However, today I took it off. No easy task, I came just short of ripping off my entire finger, but instead, the finger (though swollen) still stands and the ring is off until Henry comes and the copious amounts of fluid leave me.

I'm more than likely done working for now, as I'm a.) hoping to have a baby before the work week comes again and b.) my mom and stepdad come tomorrow (!!) and so if there is no baby I will still be spending my time with them. Hard to believe I will have family in Alaska tomorrow, this is my first family visit and I'm extremely excited! Of course I hoped to be able to greet them with a baby, but that bit shall come soon... one would think.

Henry is doing well, just calm in there, hanging out, perhaps holding on for dear life. Who really knows what he's doing. He is sounding good and strong, is nice and low, and seems to be a solid little babe. They are guessing we are nearing about 8 and a half pounds right now, so any day would be just fine in my opinion.

Today has been a very sleepy day, though I got out this morning for a bit of shopping and a lunch date, 10 minute power nap and a walk through the park. Tomorrow I'm hoping to clean the house. Or have a baby. Whatever works, like I said, I'm not going to dwell because I know I'm not in control. I am however, in control of house cleaning projects, and that must be done. In fact I was thinking I should go put my feet up but now that it's been mentioned sweeping the floors is sounding awfully appealing.

That's my scattered update for you. We are just busy waiting, spending time with Eric's family, awaiting the arrival of mine, and going about our daily business.

Until next time!

Good day Sunshine, Hello moon...

Oh living in Alaska makes me appreciate the sun so much. I knew I missed it all winter, but I just can't get over how much I'm loving it's return. It's so comforting to have the sun's company when we get up in the morning, when we get off work, even into the evening now. And it only sticks around for longer as the days go on! I love it. Yesterday was a short day at work, and Eric surprised me by taking the afternoon off to spend some time together since he has had the feeling that the baby will be here this weekend(not so far...) So we met for lunch at Moose's Tooth, a very very very popular pizza place here. We were able to sit outside while waiting to get a booth and the sun just warmed us and was so nice. I loved that we were able to get outside and enjoy the sun together, have a lunch date, and it was unexpected so it was a special surprise. I had a delicious root beer while waiting, and in the picture it looks like I'm drinking regular beer. I felt like people were probably staring at me like why is the pregnant lady drinking beer? But not to worry, everyone.

When leaving I thought of how I love the feeling of climbing into my car after the sun has made it warm and smell nice... Yay for sun and small pleasures.

But on a day like today, I want to be thankful for the moon too. That's because it's SUPERMOON DAY! Tonight the full moon should be 14 % larger than usual, for the first time in about 18 years. We all know what they say about women going into labor on a full moon... There are definitely theories that just like the gravity affects the tides, it affects women near labor also since they are so full of water and have a big amniotic sac of fluid. I don't know if I believe it all or not, but people swear more women go into labor on the full moon and I'm hoping since it's not only a full moon but a supermoon, that tonight brings our baby into my arms. A girl can hope, right?

My mom told me I can go out and howl at it later, so maybe I'll consider that ;) Not really, but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if I actually tried it. If anyone hears some crazy lady howling tonight in West Anchorage, it could just be me. No big deal.

Think labor like thoughts for us, I really wanted tonight to be it. Though if there's one thing I've learned working at the birth center, it's that babies don't care about when you want them to come, and they tend to have unfortunate timing anyway. Which is fine. Tonight I'm just going to hope the moon works its magic

on us though, and hope it works any magic you may be hoping for too.

These Hips (For the Full Moon)
-Adele Brown
They carry babies to term,
cradling them beneath ilium crest
until full moons rise over tide waters,
stretch long white fingers over the dark
horizon, and pull.

Lunar gravity bears down
and spreads the bones apart.
Pelvic plates press clean
against layers of glycerol flesh.
They stretch skin
wider than the wings of
a Rorschach butterfly,
leaving offspring behind
stained in dark reds and blues
of old blood and afterbirth.
As a river mouth
makes a bed of its own sand and silt,
these hips find softness in their own refuse.

Happy Day!

St. Patrick's Day to all, and Happy Happy Birthday to my sister Kate!

If I was following the lovely 10 day early pattern that my sisters followed with their babies this year, I'd be saying Happy Birthday to Henry too, but he is staying put for today it appears.

I think we have all learned that I'm finding patience to be hard to find during the end of my pregnancy. Only because I'm so ready to meet him, because I find labor so interesting and am so anxious to see how it happens with Henry and me, and because it's so unknown. No one has any idea at all when or how it will take place, other than Henry... It's his little secret, and while I trust in the process fully, I have to trust that he knows when it's time to come and that he'll do what he needs. Things will work out the way they are meant to. This is something I know to be true and see it at work every day, but suddenly when I'm the one out of control and waiting I understand how hard it is to be patient.

So we are almost to 39 weeks now, and we had a very good 38 week appointment this week. Everyone is looking/sounding/feeling good, and it's just a waiting game. I had my first cervical check, and there is progress on that end as well, so I'm very happy to have some of the work taking place before I'm in labor. I was 2 cm dilated, 70% effaced, soft. Henry just needs to pick the time, and our adventure together will begin.

So there is our update for the week, and now onto other things... My goal is to not SOLELY think of labor so that I can just accept the wait and welcome the surprise when it comes to me.

I thought it would be a good time for an update of my current favorite things, it's been a few weeks since I've had one, and I want to be able to look back and remember the odd things that excited me at this time.

1.) Pacific Foods Organic Turkey Pot Pie- Naughty? Surely. Delicious? YES. I have one a week for lunch at work, and I just giggle at the things they make me so excited. I love something with a crust. Today was pot pie day.

2.)Oranges/Orange Juice- Definitely still haven't given up on the wild citrus kick! I drink more orange juice than I should, but I just thirst for it. I eat oranges daily, and have lemon in my water. I love citrus.

3.)Chocolate Chips- This isn't necessarily a new thing for me, but something that phases in and out and I'm in an "in" phase. I like the mini chocolate chips in anything. Ice cream, yogurt, cereal, I even have poured them into a glass of cold milk and spooned them into my mouth that way. Simple and tasty.

4.)Cookbooks- I continue to take a huge interest in recipe surfing, in cookbooks, online, etc. Two that have appeared in my life are the Moosewood cookbook, and Enchanted Broccoli Forest cookbook. I could spend hours searching through finding things I want to make... the question is, when will I have energy and time to make them? I think while Henry and I are home for a few weeks, we will really work on new recipes. That's the goal.

5.) Vitamin Water-- This started when I got the nasty cold last weekend (it's now doing much better) and I was determined to get rid of it quickly. The water was so refreshing though that I've been wanting it non stop since. So much vitamin water.

6.) Sleep. I am one sleepy mama. I don't necessarily get that much sleep, but I'm tired all of the time, and sometimes nod off sitting up. So that's always fun.

This morning I woke up to fresh snow falling, which I thought may not happen again this year. It was starting to feel very spring like, but the snow fell anyway... I'm not sure it will last long. As beautiful as it is, I am very ready for spring so I won't mind when the sunshine sends the snow away for a while. On my way to work this morning I listened to the traffic report, stating that there was a moose running around the highway exit for quite a while slowing traffic down. Maybe they are thrown off by the return of winter too. Probably not.

I hope today was a lovely day for all of you, anyone who may be reading...

Here's a photo from today, hopefully we are approaching some of the last belly photos! It's a bit blurry since we did it on my phone, but you get the idea.

V

Updates and Reflections

On...everything. Mainly one thing. I try not to talk about only pregnancy, because I know that annoys people. But at this point in the game, it's really hard to think about much else. Not to mention I'm quite sure most of my brain cells have gone to the baby and left me with a pea size brain only large enough to think about one thing and one thing only and everything else I forget. I have examples... Yesterday I walked out of the house in my slippers, locking the door behind me. I turned around to go back in and change shoes, realizing then that I left my house key on the kitchen counter. Eric and I had switched cars for the day and of course he had the garage door opener with him... So there I went, out for a day of errands in slippers. I then got out of the car at a store, and locked the doors, just about to shut it before realizing that beeping was reminding me the keys were still in the car. So not only am I wandering about town in wool slippers, I also nearly leave my friend, her baby, and myself stranded in a parking lot. Keyword: NEARLY... Thankfully I stepped up to the plate and took the keys out before shutting the door. Ugh, pretty soon I'm sure I'll find my brain again.

So it's been a while since I've updated, although I've thought about it every day. By the end of a work day, I'm so tired and swollen that I hate the idea of sitting up at a desk and computer for a moment longer. In the past week or two, going to work all day has gotten much tougher. Well anyway, no excuses, I'm happy to be back writing again.

I wish I had an update like "WE HAD A BABY!!!!!" But... not yet. However, we DID make it past 37 weeks since my last post which is a big milestone. Now we have made it past 38, so this boy is good and strong and welcome to make his entrance at any second. He never seems to catch on to my hints.

On our 37 week day, we drove to Girdwood, AK for a birthday celebration for Ruth, Eric's mom. We stopped at Beluga Point which is a pull off on the beautiful drive and we walked around a bit enjoying the sun and the scenery. In the summer, it isn't rare to see Beluga whales, but in the winter it's pretty much ice chunks to look at. Still beautiful. Still feels good to get out. As the air starts to smell like spring and the sunshine visits us for longer periods of time each day, I am finding myself itching to get sunshine and fresh air. Of course that desire sometimes battles with my body's need for rest, but overall I'm increasingly anxious to get out and about and I try to make the most of the bursts of energy that happen upon me and get outside for a bit. I can't wait until I can hold Henry on the outside and take him out and about in the sun that will be with us for so many hours of the day soon. Yesterday Finn and I had a trip to the park and it felt so great to absorb some sun, and today we took a nice walk.


In Girdwood, we had coffee, then headed up on the tram to the top of a mountain to a restaurant called Seven Glaciers. It's a very nice restaurant so we don't go often, but it was a lot of fun, and very delicious! Eric came down with a stomach bug for a few days this week, and so that put a damper in the week, poor guy. However he is now feeling back to himself, so we're thankful for that! I was a cleaning fool, afraid to catch it, or afraid that Henry would come while he was sick. Now I have an icky cold that I'm hoping to get over very quickly so all can be healthy for this little baby. I would take the cold any day over the other, so I'm really really hoping to keep healthy.

All week I just thought I don't know how I'll make it another day with legs so swollen. But the weekend has proved to be entirely different. I'm so much more comfortable when I can move around a lot throughout the day, and then stop to put my feet up when I need to. Tomorrow when I go back to work I'm sure the whole cycle will start again. Where I can't dress comfortably or sit or move around comfortably. Overall, I'm feeling really good and am very lucky. Last week though after spending the whole day in Girdwood dressed "nicely" I came home threw my clothes off as fast as I could and stood there vowing that I was not going to wear anything other than giant tshirts, underwear and slippers for the remainder of the pregnancy. Luckily I got over that though, because it didn't seem like a very great plan.

I cleaned the house Friday (it needs to be done again, go figure), did some baby shopping yesterday, and today we celebrated Ruth's actual birthday and I'm finally doing all of the laundry. As in ALL of it. My goal is to have every piece of dirty laundry washed by the end of the night because I'm so very tired of the pile looming over me. I want to just concentrate on the big job ahead, not the small things around the house that drive me nuts. I figure the best way to accomplish this is just to do them while I can, and then stay on top of them. So let's see how that plan goes!

Speaking of laundry, we bought a few little things we still needed for Henry's room like a trash can and laundry basket... and for some odd reason, his laundry basket has been something kind of special for me. I know that sounds strange, but it's true. I have been doing his laundry for months, hanging and folding his sweet things and tucking them into the drawers and closet. But throwing his most recent purchases into a laundry basket and seeing them in the closet for some reason just makes it all seem real... Soon there will be clothes in that basket that smell like him and have been the places he has been through the days. We are so ready to meet him. How about tonight?

Eric has a feeling he'll be here Friday... The 19th was my original guess but now I don't feel like he'll be here that soon. It would be funny if he actually did come then though, because Eric wants the 19th, it was my first guess, and we are both hoping for a Friday. Not that any of it matters, but it would still be funny.

Right now, there are 9 patients before me on our list of people who are due. How wild is that?! I have recently been feeling so close to this little man that I cannot see, and that is another reason for being so antsy to meet him. I know I just need to be patient, continue with my daily things and let him come when he's ready. But I just feel like I know him now better than ever and I want to meet him. I'm anxious to see how the process unfolds for us, to see what my body can do, what Henry does, to feel a non pregnant body again, etc.

The part that is hard about being so close to having a baby, is being without my family. I have talked so much to Rachel and Kate while they've been home with their babies, and to be honest it just feels weird to not be around them when I'm home with the little one. I know I'll wish I was out doing lunch with them, hanging around like they get to now etc. I envision taking Henry on walks in downtown Iowa City sunshine, and I want him to know Iowa. I wish I could make my two homes closer together.

But it's ok, Henry and I will go get Starbucks and think of them :)

It's now 9:15pm after I took a dinner break a few hours ago, and I'm gearing up for another week at work. Actually, here's hoping that having a baby before the week is over will make it less than a week of work! The sound of the laundry machines going and the smell of blueberry muffins in the oven (the healthy version not the naughty version) make me feel like I've been productive. So maybe I didn't get EVERY piece of laundry cleaned and put away tonight, but everything is at least contained to one hamper now, so let's consider it a job well done.

Please all, stay healthy and if you have a minute, send me some labor-like energy this week.