Did I say Goodbye?

I was just kidding. I thought I wanted to leave this blog, or rather just move it elsewhere, but who knows what I want.  Two days was plenty, and now I've had a change of heart. I blame postpartum hormones for my indecisiveness. Turns out, blogger does hold the tricks I want to add to this blog... and while I liked some of the tumblr aspects for the whole 3 seconds I was part of it, I can't work it so we're back here... just new and improved.  Well hopefully improved, I'm happier with it at least! So take note that the url has changed now to grownorthblog.blogspot.com.  Other changes,

Goodbye to La Fame...

Hello Friends!

I have decided to try a new place for my blog... So this is the end (for now) of La Fame. I'm just ready for something new, but really it's just a new place for the same thing, hopefully I'll be able to add even more when I figure out how on earth tumblr works. I'm not good with web design or really anything computer related. So please, no judging on the slow growth of this new site. I have like .3 seconds to work on it between spit up sessions, feeding babe, diapers blowing out etc. You know how it goes. Tonight H is on Daddy's lap so I have a bit of time to work on the new site, but I have no clue what I'm doing. Anyway, follow me at http://grownorth.tumblr.com/

and please explore this new blog with me, leave comments and feedback, let me know that you're there if you feel like it.

Goodbye for now!

A year ago today

Eric and I were getting married, on the most beautiful Iowa day I can think of. And we were happy.

Today we meet our first anniversary, and it's unbelievable how much a year has brought us. We've taken fun trips, little adventures, enjoyed the day to day life with one another. We've met difficult moments that gave us the opportunity to work together to greet the other end as a stronger couple. We have gone through 9 months of change and adaptation as we grew our little Henry, and we have had 12 months to be thankful for meeting each other, remember fun times we've had together in the past, enjoy each other in the present, and dream of days to come in the future.

Not to carry on the cheese fest, but I feel like I owe the day some recognition :)

I found a fellow dreamer and the nicest man, best daddyo I can imagine, and together we just make sense.

We are happy.

Happy Anniversary to my handsome husband.

The watering

What is this?

Am I actually blogging? It's been so long and here I am with a few minutes to actually write. Happy dance.

Amazing how fast the minutes in my world go these days. I try so hard to grip each one, but still the moments fly by. They are wonderful moments, though.

Days in our lives right now are fairly simple, but beautiful. I soak up time with Henry, admiring his changes and his perfectly sweet, evolving personality. He makes me smile and laugh so much right now as he becomes more and more interactive each day. I am back to work part time, and I am SO lucky that he is able to come to work with me. However, this is a balance I feel will take some time to adjust to. I'm trying to do my job as a Mama, as well as my job at work... and I haven't figured out how they go hand in hand yet. There are productive days, and there are days that are, not as much... Unless standing up and sitting down only to stand right back up again to avoid tears, changing diapers and

nursing countless times counts as a productive day at work.

Henry is like a whole new baby these days. I cannot believe how fast they change. He is so long, solid, and filled out. His big eyes are brighter and even more aware, each one with a brown spot in them so we know he'll have brown eyes. His thighs are perfectly pudgy, and he has learned to lock eyes with us with a big gummy grin following. His smile melts us. He knows where to find my eyes while nursing,

and he goes back and forth between staring off, and looking right up at my eyes, which I love. This past week he has started cooing a lot more, making some of the most fun noises I've ever heard. His voice is my favorite, and I love having "conversations" with him throughout the day. He listens to my voice, smiles, coos back, and we go back and forth. His little shoulders rise when his smile stretches across his face. His hair that was pretty sparse on top is coming in quickly, and it's entirely fuzzy and wonderful. He has started spending time on a mat on the floor with the toys that hang over head and he kicks his legs like a frog, waves his arms around and talks to the toys hanging over him.

To sum it up, we are loving this boy SO fully.

We took our first family vacation this month, which was a big adventure with a newborn. We flew to Iowa, spent a few days there, drove to South Carolina and back, and flew back to Alaska. He was a perfect plane traveler... silent the whole time. The car is the bit I was nervous about, seeing as he generally doesn't like spending much time in the carseat. He was great though, considering how many days he wa

s stuck in it. He was great the first day, and the next was a bit

more frustrating for him. We made frequent stops at rest stops and in parking lots to feed him, change him, let him stretch, feel the fresh air... and we would stretch and chat on a blanket in the grass. By the end of the trip he was very ready to be done in the carseat, and we were equally ready for that, but we made

it. In Iowa we spent time with our families and had such fun. My sisters threw a party for us so friends and family could come meet our little H, and it was perfect. It was so hard to say goodbye. In South Carolina we spent time with my wonderful friend Kelsea, as she got married on the beach. It was beautiful, and it felt so good to be somewhere so different. Eric and I chatted along the drive, and I told him how much I miss being able to drive state to state watching everything change so much as we cross each one. I'll look forward to being able to do that again some day when we are living somewhere else. At the end of all of this, the traveling, the stimulation, the new timezones and new things to see, Henry was exhausted and I think a bit thrown off. It has been good to be back home and get him back to a routine... or at least as close to a routine as an 8

week old can be. It's hard to believe he's already 8 weeks... in fact, it's still a little hard to believe I'm not pregnant! I had gotten so used to that, I still fid myself surprised occasionally when I remember that I'm not anymore.

Spring/summer (It's pretty much one season in Alaska) is in full swing up here. When we came back last week, we were

welcomed by lush green trees, buds appearing, and sun that stays with us well into the night. I know we will need to buy blackout shades to help Henry sleep and such, but I have always loved the sun's constant company. I like going to bed with the sun still shining, and I love that it's there when we wake up. I don't have to turn lights on, I just reach behind my head and scootch the curtains over and voila, the room is bright as ever-- perfect for morning conversations in bed with my little guy.

And with this sun's help, I'm giving the gardening another go. I think I mentioned last time how we planted (who could be sure though, I can't even remember the last time I wrote!) the vegetables, and I'm working hard to take care of the little sprouts. Unfortunately, I've always had a talent for killing plants or somehow hindering their growth, when all I try is to accomplish the opposite.

Last year, I had lettuce and broccoli that was doing really well, but after I got pregnant and wasn't feeling well, instead of caring for the plants I chose a life of lounging on the couch watching the plants overgrow and then shrivel out the window for the following few weeks.

Now our soil seems to be plotting the death of my vegetables, but I won't let them go without a fight. Henry and I walk out there each morning, and sometimes afternoon to water them. I explain what is growing and take note of anything that is making progress. Unfortunately, right now that's not much. My peas have popped up, and carrots, and a few other things, but they are tiny still, and there are plenty of empty patches where I know seeds hide beneath. We think maybe the soil is too woody, or the pH is off or something. Either way, I'm bummed. Our herb garden inside however, is beautiful... The basil is taking off, oregano is sprouting, dill, etc. They look so healthy, and each day are noticeably bigger.

Speaking of that, I think I'll walk outside and take a look. It's lightly raining so my job may be done, but I still want to see them.

It feels good to be back, friends...

It's humbling, really...

days like these, where you think you have everything together and then breastfeeding takes a temporary turn for the worse, you have an emotional breakdown, don't get a chance to shower or brush your hair (not the end of the world, really), end up an hour late for the one thing you were trying to get to, accidentally let baby pee hit the wall while he cries and have to start over again, forget to eat a meal...

Today was one of those days where I was overwhelmed with feelings of maternal incompetence. Those feelings battled with my better judgment where I know to not beat myself up for a rough night, or to take my little boy's cries personally. But today, when frustration has nearly peaked, my little H nurses perfectly, and falls asleep on my chest with his perfectly pouty lips gaping open letting out little sighs of relaxation. I decide to ignore the sweeping that needs to be done, the laundry that needs to be folded (what's one more day, right?) to enjoy the warmth of him against me, and to

drift of

f together into a much more peaceful, restful moment (or in our case, 2 hours). And on a day l

ike tod

ay, I'm comforted by a wonderful husband who comes home with arms full of groceries,

and knowing that it's Friday and we get to spend the next two days as a family.

He brought home w

ith him, a little box with beautiful earrings as an early Mother's Day/ Rough day gift, along with a big hug, and as I was rinsing dinner ingredients off of my hands I noticed that my fingers looked different. I ran upstairs immediately and.... BOTH OF MY RINGS SLID RIGHT ON. I haven't worn one of them since I was 6 months pregnant, and today they are back and making me smile. Hubby is home, the little boy who wouldn't poop all day is sound asleep next to me and just filled the diaper, dinner is nearly done, and I am a very lucky woman.

There will be more days like these, there will be worse days, but right now...

life is wonderful.

If The Shoe Fits...

AND IT DOES!! Literally. Turns out I am not indefinitely stuck in a life where crocs are the only shoes that fit my enormously swollen feet. I am officially back in my very own shoes! Just had to start with that piece of excitement. Now this is not to say that all of my swelling is gone, but compared to what my ankles/feet looked like 3 weeks ago, I'd say they're looking pretty svelte. As I stood in the shower the other morning I actually thought to myself that they were looking pretty boney... But after a minute of thinking about that, turns out my version of bony is just being able to find that I do, in fact, have an ankle bone at all. No one could find it a few weeks ago. In high school someone told me that I had cankles... They obviously know nothing about cankles at all. I could have showed them cankles last month. In my defense, I was playing soccer at the time, and my terrible form apparently wreaked havoc on my poor legs. Anyway, that is neither here nor there.

The point is, I can wear shoes. It feels good. And I can feel my legs. Also good.

I cannot believe that 3 weeks has gone by (today!) since having our little Henry. He is a wonderful baby and time has absolutely escaped from my little world as I get completely wrapped up in each day of learning who this little person is. He changes daily, and he's such fun.

This is probably the point in my blog where if you don't want to read about poop and breasts, and anything relating to the two, you should probably just turn back now and not look back for months to come. Because currently my world revolves around those two very things. I'm sure eventually, some day, I'll have more to think about than nipples and nursing, and poop, and consistency and color of poop (let's just be clear I'm talking about Henry) but for now I really can't think of much else. It's amazing, really... I can think very clearly about nursing and when the next time will be that he'll want to eat, and how many diapers he's had yada yada, and when I get out of that circle of thoughts my brain goes back to the size of a pinhead where the end of pregnancy left it, and I can't think of what I'm doing or what I was trying to say etc. Fantastic.

I wouldn't change it though, because for now mine and Henry's days are filled with lots of fun and lots of love even though all we do is nurse and then change his diaper and do it all over again. Anyway, if these things don't interest you I apologize, but I will blog about them anyway because some day down the road I bet I'll want to read these posts and remember what the days were like when I spent them home with my tiny little boy. Soon he will be onto very different stages and I think I'll forget details quickly. In the past week he has been spending a lot more time awake and looking around with his big bright eyes, making such funny faces, and I love every minute of his quiet alert time. This morning he woke up at 6am to eat and usually he'll go back to sleep for a couple of hours after that. I was tired and hoping this would be the case but he was so wide awake and ready to take the world in that I didn't even try to get him ready for more sleep. I just popped up with him and we spent about an hour chatting and looking around. Then of course he drifted off into a peaceful 3 hour nap leaving me to sit there alone and sleepy :)

Eric and I have noticed he makes a lot more sounds now, and it's fun when something other than a grunt or a squeak pops out and we can hear a bit of his voice. It's very very sweet sounding. He also does lots of little sleepy smiles while he's napping that get us excited for when he can purposely smile at us in a few weeks.

So those are some of the ways life has changed for us, everything is so different and a big adjustment and we are loving it even through the difficult times, even in the middle of the night, all of the time. I like the way little mommy details have taken over. My bedside table is covered with things I need while nursing and changing in the middle of the night, the house is covered in random baby socks and carriers and pump parts, fleecy blankets, things that smell like our wonderful Henry. The one thing I'm not thrilled with, is the fact that I simply cannot keep up with the craziness that is the house. I have wanted to vacuum for the past 2 weeks, but it's a no go. I will do 2 loads of laundry, then not have time to put them away until the laundry piles up again. Such is life though, so much to be thankful for, I guess the vacuuming can wait another few days.

We have gotten out a bit more this week, and the weather has been beautiful. It has been sunny, bright blue skies, and upper 40 to 50 degrees-- which is great, and the air has felt so so fresh! I'm trying to find which carrier Henry likes to ride in and get him used to being carried, since we are back to work in just a week and half if all goes well. We are also working on accomplishing things out of the house with a little guy who isn't so sure about riding in the car. Today was PERFECT though as far as that goes. There was no screaming, no tears, just a quiet baby when he was both awake and asleep in the car. Ah, I love that! Hope it continues.

I think that's it for now :)