35 turned 36 turned 37 Week Update

I have been trying to write an update for the past two weeks, but the time keeps slipping away.  Here we are though, at a big milestone and, well, this is the part where I can safely say I'm pretty much over being pregnant.  I know that sounds harsh and I feel a little bit of guilt in saying it because I am ever so thankful for a second opportunity to carry and grow life in my body.  It's been a good road.  However, I'm at the stage now where I just want to be done, to hold this baby girl in my arms, and move onto this next stage of life that is so hard to wrap my head around, but so fun to imagine.  I'm ready for that part.  I am still enjoying a lot of aspects of the pregnancy, but there are bits that make three weeks seem just too damn long. My belly is a different shape this time, more compact in that it's growing further out, and less like a huge round beach ball.  I keep thinking I look smaller than I did with H, but apparently that's just my own perception.  I am feeling just uncomfortably FULL.  As if because I didn't get quite as round, things are more crammed? I have no clue, maybe it's in my head.  But the extremely tight feeling and new stretch marks tell me that I am in fact, out of room.  Even my maternity clothes are feeling disgusting now, as my pants are continuously sliding off of my butt and my belly sticks out the bottom of my shirts.  It's a pretty nice look.  Those complaints aside, I'm feeling lucky to be feeling so well at this point.  I am growing more and more tired of course, but still have a strange amount of energy.  I have zero desire to stop working, and have been given the go ahead to take call in the birth center until 39 weeks as long as someone else can back me up.  They don't seem to think I'll be much help to a laboring woman if I'm in labor myself! The rest of my energy shows up in my attempts to still run around, crawl, and dance with Henry (we had a full on dance party the other night which was the perfect kind of fun I always imagined as a new parent), and in a less expected way: cleaning. I can. not. stop. I always wondered about the nesting instinct when I was pregnant the first time, but it never came.  Of course I wanted to set up his nursery, and have things packed and organized, but that was only baby things.  This time, not only have I finally started obsessively preparing for baby V, but I have the urge to clean everything else with a gross amount of energy and attack.  I vacuum constantly, including couch pillows and cushions, and anything else I can get my hands on.  Clutter and mess literally drives me crazy, and I can't say that is my usual way.  I always like things to look nice and put together, but I don't always have the drive to do it. Now I get home, and I don't stop until it's time to go to bed.  I probably drive Eric up a wall with the hatred I have for any small mess, but he's been going along with my desire to have things clean.  Which I appreciate, of course.  My ankles tell me maybe more time should be spent resting (the swelling has bumped it up a notch during this week of wonderful sunshine and heat!), and a little less racing around tidying, but I can't stop.  I kind of hope this continues for the rest of time, long after pregnancy! The sense of accomplishment and relief when things are in order is huge.
I'm happy to be here at 37 weeks, though it's hard to believe.  I am now "legal" in the birth center, as of midnight tonight!  So it's a waiting game from here on out.  We cannot wait to meet this little girl, and it could happen any day now.  I think I'll be a bit closer to my due date which is the 21st, but just the thought that it could be any day is a fun thought to entertain.  My goal is to keep her in until the 19th, when my mom and stepdad come for two full weeks. I can barely wait!
Until then, it's business as usual but with an enormous list of small projects to feed my neurotic-nesting self.  It finally looks like a baby is actually coming to our home, but there are still handfuls of things I've come up with that I would love to do before she does.  Onto more busy days!

Who Needs Sleep?

Ah, the days of 2am blog  check-ins begin again.  I remember them so well with Henry... these are the hours where I would get up and come down to the computer and browse through blogs. It was at that time in my pregnancy that I really learned what this blogging community was really like.  I had written here and there since moving to Alaska for family to read, but I had no idea what was really out there. All of the wonderful blogs provided me with much company in the middle of the night.  This pregnancy, I have tried my hardest not to get out of bed and such in the night, and rather try to get the sleep I know I so badly need.  But tonight, with the baby/bladder duo that just won't quit, I give up.  Henry had an unusual meltdown at midnight that took an hour to get over, and I'm hungry for breakfast five hours too soon, so I am up before I ever fell asleep, and plan to try again after checking in here.  I've been missing the blog, and have numerous posts in my drafts file just waiting to be posted.  But things have been busy to say the least.  So much so, that my posts at this point are all half written as I've had no time to complete a thought.  I need to though, because there isn't much time left before life changes in a huge way, and I either have less time, or a foggy sleepy memory, or who knows what that pushes writing back even more.  If you're still reading along though, despite my sporadic posts, thank you. I hope you know I so appreciate it!
Since I'm still on call and tired from a busy ( but wonderful!) day at the birth center, I'm off to attempt sleeping again.  I will try to post my 35 (now turned 36 as I'm 36 weeks Friday) week update in the next day or two.  I would love to get a weekly one in now, as the pregnancy is almost over! 

Words From Henry

This morning after Henry called my name (quite loudly) to let me know he was awake, I went into his bedroom, opened the blinds and snuggled next to him in bed for a few minutes.  I like to hear all the things he has to say first thing in the morning, just as I like to chat for a few minutes at night when he goes to bed.  He's always full of funny little thoughts and big stories.  He reached to his side pulling up a doll that he took to bed and said:
Henry: "Baby awake. Baby milk"
Me: "Baby's hungry?"
Henry: "Baby eat Mommy's breast"
And he proceeded to hold the doll's face up to my shirt for me to "nurse".

Ha! I love this boy.  He really loves to talk about the baby, and how she'll come out and have milk. Earlier in the pregnancy he was always confused about which area was responsible for which job, he would try to say hi to baby on my chest, and say she would drink milk from my belly, but he's got it all figured out now.
I've been "nursing" this doll pretty much all day.

*Also? I'm just as tired of the blurry iphone photos as you probably all are.  But the camera charger is still yet to be found.  One of the many joys of packing and moving I guess!

For Mother's Day

This Mother's Day, I'm sharing a photo not only of my own Mama, but of two of my other very favorite mothers as well, my sisters.  How sad that this is the only photo I could find of all of us together? I know more recent ones exist so I suppose it's okay, but this is the only one I could hunt down. Look how tiny our babies were!  I have never lacked appreciation for mothers.  I have been extremely attached to mine from the very start of course.  We laugh about it now because I am every bit as hooked on her now as I was when I was a young girl.  Only now I don't hang at her ankles crying when she leaves the house, or beg her to let me sit silently near her and fall asleep on the couch when I should be in bed.  Though sometimes I want to cry like that when we are apart.  There is nothing more comforting than a Mama, and it baffles me every day that I am that person to another little being.  Henry looks at me with the same love I have for my own Mom, which is such an incredible feeling, and so unbelievable at the same time. Motherhood is a wild road that is impossible to fully figure out, and when I need extra wisdom, or want to share a funny story, or talk about baby poop and tantrums, I call my mom or one of my sisters.  I have learned everything about the kind of mother I want to be from those three, and I pull all kinds of ideas and strength from their experiences and examples.  The last two years have by far been the most emotional, exhausting, crazy, fun, special, and fulfilling years of my life.  But I have certainly learned time and time again that there is so much I don't know about being a mother.  There is always so much to learn and each day that Henry grows, that becomes more and more apparent.  The mistakes I make become more frequent, and the questions and doubts don't end. But what I do know, is that I was given the very best of moms to look up to and learn from.  And I'm a better mother because of it. I will continue to get better with their help.  They are now Grandma and Aunts to my babies and for that I am so grateful. They are appreciated every day, but I'm sending a little extra love their way today, on Mother's Day.
To all of you other mamas out there, Happy Mother's Day to you as well! I hope you are feeling loved and appreciated for everything you do.

And though this is a tiny blurry Instagram shot, it's the most recent one of my two babies, the ones that make me a very lucky Mama. 

Greens And Things

Happy May to you!
I cannot believe May is already here, and boy am I glad that it is.  I am all kinds of excited today because May is the last stop before the month we are due, because the sun came back out today to celebrate the changing of the month, and because Henry and I started a new challenge today!
One of my sisters signed up for a 30 days of greens challenge through The Unconventional Kitchen, in the form of smoothies.  I decided immediately that Henry and I would sign up too, because why on earth not?  We love smoothies, we love healthy food, greens, etc. Sounds pretty perfect to me.  Greens are a regular part of our diet around here, as are a lot of the other ingredients in her recipes, but I absolutely love this challenge because it combines all of this goodness in tasty smoothie recipes that I wouldn't normally think of. I tend to stick to similar "recipes" and I am truly excited to experiment a bit more this month.  While Eric and I are good about eating a lot of kale and other good things, Henry isn't always up for mouthfuls of things like spinach and others that I'd like him to eat.  He's a good eater, but I can just hear the fit now if I tried to get him to eat a bite of swiss chard.  Not happening.  He will eat anything in a smoothie though, and helping to make them is a great activity for toddlers.  He was so excited about making a "smoogie" all morning that he just about lost it in the checkout line of Costco in a fit of toddler rage since we weren't done buying the ingredients yet.  We made the first recipe in the challenge and he downed his in a few short minutes! He came back hunting for mine too, so day 1 was a success.  I don't know quite what it is, but something has me really excited about this.  Maybe just because it's called a challenge, or because I'm excited to see how we feel after 30 days of extra healthy goods, but I am eagerly waiting to get to each smoothie.  I'm thrilled to be able to give Henry all of those nutrients, and I think a part of me is excited too because this is very likely the last time I'll be growing a tiny human inside of my body, and what better way to wrap up a pregnancy than to load us both up with superfoods? It makes me happy to think of giving her that each day.  I would be happy to get any boost of extra energy that this might provide, too. :) It's not too late to sign up if you want to join in, and it is made so easy! Moments after signing up there was a grocery list in my inbox, and the first recipe followed soon after.  There are also helpful hints on what to freeze, or keep fresh, when to prepare ingredients, etc.  All little tips on making life a bit easier are greatly appreciated, yeah?  Anyway, if you decide to join, we'd love to follow along and hear how you're loving it!
Here's to the month of May being a healthy, happy one!

Nearly the blurriest photo ever, but not bad for a shattered phone.