I'm in love with them.
The longer we are here in Alaska, building this family of ours, the more I find myself missing and dreaming of the midwest. Of warm, sticky evenings, retreating to cool water in the peak heat of a sunny day... Yes, this is odd coming from someone who runs very warm and is known for loving cool weather. But I do miss the midwest, for more reasons than I can count. I miss the family we have there, my favorite restaurants in Iowa, simply strolling downtown and seeing familiar places. I want those places to be places that Henry knows. However, I'm working on being present in the now, and wanting these places I see every day for Henry too. I don't want to move from here some day and feel like I didn't soak up the beauty of our first home together... every first as a family has been here. And here is wonderful. Here, the sun shines into the middle of the night, the air smells fresh and cool and clean. The mountains are a backdrop everywhere you go, and there's something unique about it here. I'm trying to just enjoy my surroundings, while we're here...love them, and pass the love to Henry. We are lucky to live here.
No matter the state though, no matter how many miles I am from where I'd love to be, these are the best days of my life without a question. I have been thinking about these last few months every single day, absolutely in awe of them. I've been entirely emotional over it all, watching this little person grow. I've found myself keeping lists of moments I love because I'm so afraid of forgetting, as the changes come entirely too quickly.
I even cried at the Pampers commercial , and show it to everyone who steps in our door just because it reminds me of the path we've come down in the last year. I'll write it here so that I may look back some day and remember these little moments that stopped me in my tracks and made me fall deeper in love with baby H.
A week ago I took the sleeping baby upstairs in the afternoon, thinking I might get a little nap in with him. I didn't sleep though, I just sat there loving that he was curled up in the nook my body was making as I was on my side, and his little foot was pushing against my belly. It felt exactly the way it did when he'd kick me while I was pregnant, and I have so missed the feeling.
His feet are always busy. He is getting so very excited about the things he can do, and he just keeps moving. He likes to be held standing up, where he'll stomp a foot and make us all laugh, or kick around on the ground, rolling back to front, front to back. He has become extremely expressive, and I laugh so hard with him as he chatters and lifts his eyebrows with each noise. When he smiles, his little tongue sticks out because the smile is so big, and his eyes smile right along with it. He has found his fists and spends time licking them and trying very hard to shove them into his mouth. He's gotten pretty close, and then he usually gags and repeats.
He's given a few giggles, wakes up in the mornings with the hugest grins, blows spit bubbles, and stares right into my eyes for long periods of time just smiling. I wonder what he's thinking when he does that... they are my favorite minutes of the day. Yesterday he started doing what I've been hearing about and waiting for for weeks-- while he's been looking at me while nursing for a while now, he has finally started nursing, then stopping to look up at me, smile, coo, and go back to business. He was doing it tonight while he was supposed to be going to sleep and I just couldn't help but laugh with him. He makes me a very happy mama.
A tired mama, but a happy one. He has the most perfect timing- when I'm exhausted and losing patience he flashes one of his best smiles and instantly my energy is back. I think they are that powerful.
As some of you know I'm not always the most patient person. In certain aspects I can be, but it's something I'm always working on. I'm certainly learning firsthand that motherhood demands patience though, and that if I can show that to him, he'll learn it and show it to others. I try to keep that in mind before getting frustrated, and it's working more and more.
So that's my update on the ever-growing babe. Since it's been a while...
A "Things I'm Into" list:
Dark Chocolate Raisinettes- Oh my, so good. I got them once for an at home movie night with Eric and stuck the rest in the fridge... ever since I have been coming home and going straight to them for a few...handfuls... I vowed yesterday to not purchase anymore. But I encourage you to, because they are delicious. Best served cold in my opinion.
My garden- It's growing! I haven't killed it! I have, in fact, eaten multiple salads from it. Henry and I have a close watch on it, and have been picking spinach, lettuce, chard, and kale for a couple of weeks. The peas are standing tall, and the rest of the veggies are looking good too, but only my greens are ready for eating. I get such satisfaction out of eating something that I've grown. A truly good feeling. I think they taste better too, and since they are grown in my yard I can keep watch to be sure no one is doing icky things to my vegetables. You just never know.
Burp Clothes- Though I have had many from the start, I have only recently remembered to keep them with me at all times. Take the cloth away, and you will be damp and sour for the rest of the day. Apparently I still have slip ups because I come home every. single. day. with a wet, white left shoulder, the ends of my hair are crusty, and I smell like spoiled milk. The left shoulder of my shirt is where I wear my "mom badge" I suppose. But if you're not into that, I'd suggest the burpies.
Cafe Au Lait- Pretty sure I've made my love of hot beverages clear, but I've found a way to feed the addiction without spending so much money. Like my sisters, I was bound to get in trouble for spending so much on lattes. Well now I order cafe au lait which taste the same to me. Just made with half coffee, half milk rather than milk and espresso. I actually prefer them. Crave them. Love.
Toms Shoes- There are 3 pairs that I have my eyes on... comfy and practical, and for every pair you purchase, a pair is donated. That sounded like an ad...click here to see them if you aren't familiar. You just may want some. Or you may get as much enjoyment out of staring at them on a screen as I do.
iPad- I don't have one... but I spend a good amount of time obsessing over them. I had no clue I had an interest in them. I knew I was out to find a laptop, something small and compact... then my friend came up with her iPad and I was instantly in love. I won't go on because I get a little sad thinking about it...
|Henry's first camping trip|
|dinner at a friend's after a long hike|
|Standing funny here... reminds me of Pocahontas/John Smith on the cliff in the Disney movie. A tad goofy.|
|Spinach for dinner|
|Sunning at a friend's house in the hillside. Our favorite place to relax|
|A break from the chill at our campsite|